Best Ever County Wind Up

[Donview]

Breezing through the "Caption Competition" thread made me think of some previous crackers for our Gypo neighbours. For me it has to be ICTChris's County Airlines, got totally out of hand with the Gudgie press and ended up in all the nationals.

The photo caption would probably have been fine on it's own, it was the "article" that caused the furore.

Any chance of reviving some of these Scotty/Don??

BTW Don, some tunes suggestions for Sunday at the stadium to make our neighbours feel welcome:

1.) Cher's Gypsys Tramps and Theives

2.) Barbara Dickson's Caravan Song

3.) Housemartin's Caravan of Love

For the more cultured ear we could have Bizet's Gypsy Song

[ictchris]

Playing wind-up tunes over the tannoy is rubbish. We should go back to the classic Telford Street tunes like 'Crystal Chandelier'.

[ICTFCkev]

For me it has to be ICTChris's County Airlines, got totally out of hand with the Gudgie press and ended up in all the nationals.

What was this for those of us that don't know? :D

[Jay_7]

What was this for those of us that don't know? :D

You must've seen it! The airliner towing a caravan?

[ICTFCkev]

Nope?

[Scotty]

You mean this one ???

[Renegade]

Let's All Laugh At County

[Scotty]

Here's the article we added on SportNetwork (linked above) - but with pictures

Lets All Laugh at County !! County fans andCaley Thistle fans have always had plenty banter on the go overthe seasons in the SFL. Recently this hotted up on the Internetwith County sites choosing to put up warpable pictures of theirfavourite enemies Charlie Christie and Jimmy Calder. Not to beoutdone, several clever Caley Thistle fans responded with theirown ways to laugh at County. ICTChris gets the gold award for his attempt with the CountyAirpicture which made the Highland News' country cousins the North Star scream loudly with anoutrage, that wasnt actually echoed by County fans, who all saw itas just another part of the banter ..... local councillors spokeof him as irresponsible in saying that County were providingflights from Alness to Dingwall with free supplies of methadonefor those on board. But, dont worry Chris, we all enjoyed your 15minutes of fame. The picture that caused all the furore is shownbelow. Not long after the County Airarticle was the County Air disaster, ably captured on film by theGringo, which saw the demise of County air following the loss oftheir one good flying caravan. Not to be outdone of course,another fan came up with this exclusive picture that shows CountyAir to have branched out into "Cowavans" And just recently,Oz has discovered that they are now trying to cash in on the localproperty boom by providing fully furnished penthouses for thosethat can afford them in Dingwall ..... For those thatcan't afford the new red/white & blue houses being built inDingwall by Tulloch, they have been packing their belongings intotheir mobile homes and moving out of town, as shown in thispicture which was supplied anonymously. Where will thefamous County Caravans, Tractors, and Transits appear next .......(send your snaps in for inclusion in this social investigation)

all content ?caleythistleonline.com

The original article was on Chris' site at http://www.geocities.com/ictfcuk/ ... not sure if it still works as geocities is blocked at work

[Joe DiMaggio]

Remember that I had saved a pic of it on my old computer but dont have that anymore. I edited the words on the plane so it said County Air

[alimci]

Brilliant

[Renegade]

Taken from the Geocities site:

Ross County FC - not suitable for children

ICT's oldest rivals, Ross County play in a a village in the blackest of Isles. Originally just another duff Highland League outfit, County stormed into the big time in the 1990s with, er, two Highland Leagues and a Qualifying Cup. With scaredy cats AC Milan and Real Madrid refusing to let County enter the Champions League they did the next best thing - applied to join the Scottish League. Since then the tinks have moved up the divisions with the speed and dexterity of Brian Irvine on a dancefloor - ie not much. However, a big-spending chairman and league reconstruction managed to wangle the fortune-tellers a place alongside ICT in the First Division. Since then, ICT have resumed their wonderful tradition of giving the gypos from Tinkwall a damn good hiding every time we play them (except of course when we let them win to avoid causing mass suicides among their long-suffering followers). Having signed failed male model Dick Hastings on a free after he left ICT, County perhaps expected to make an impression on the League this year, but have had to settle for being useless ona regular basis, something that the inbreds who follow them should be used to by nowdo's and don'ts when playing CountyDO: take a large clothes peg for use on your nose, in order to keep out the agricultural smells which proliferate in Dingwall.

DO: Make sure you keep hold of your possessions Dingwall tinks will pinch anything.

DON'T: Bump into Billy Ferries on a night out after ICT have humped County

DON'T: Try to buy anything, they haven't got used to decimalisation yet in Dingwall.

DON'T: Attempt to engage in any liason with a member of the opposite sex in Dingwall. One word: riddled.

Just to give further warning, here is photo of the sort of typical Dingwall resident that you would be wise to avoid:

Here is a typical Dingwall family, revealed here in their full horror:

Ross COunty consider drastic action to prevent any repeats of ALex Bone's ill-discipline during derby games.

It was a typical Monday down at Clach Park...

It was a typical day down at the farm for the Dingwall Ross County supporters club

Edited October 2, 2009 by Renegade

[+CaleyD]

[TSTtiger]

anyone remember the mock job advertisement for the then vacant managers job in dungwall? that was pretty funny also

[Guest birdog]

I am hearing rumours from contacts within the medical world that the Perineum is to be renamed Dingwall due to the fact that it is useless and smells of shyte.

[Scarlet Pimple]

The tears are still streaming down my cheeks. Best banter ever--who can forget the horse drawing the car cab?

Only HMS Sneck came close. Ha! Ha! ha! :(

Now all we get for our efforts is misery, no fun , and no really funny banter anymore .

Has everyone gone mad these days?

[tm4tj]

No, I think you are out there on your own Scarlet :angry:

[IMMORTAL HOWDEN ENDER]

Ah the memories - and where are the threads about yon CaleyThistle/RossCounty fan who threatened legal action - what were his names ??

[The Mantis]

In 2001 Dolphin's Manashee was after a certain ICT fan's blood for posting this - some of the names such as Brian (Irvine), Bellshaw, Hooty and greenfinger have long since passed into history. Back then there was no problem with the G word. Ah, innocent times.

Dolphin the G***y (or was he a Tink- he could never remember) woke up with a splitting headache. He was lying with his head facing into his wheely-bin, always a bad sign. His legs were sticking out, and they felt soaking wet. The wind from the Cromarty Firth was bitterly cold on his bare feet. Obviously the tarpaulin had blown off during the night.

Usually, he liked to lie with his feet in, and the tarp over his head. That way he could see the stars on a clear night, if he looked to the north sky. Southwards was a pale orange glow, from the lights of Inverness, where Caley played. Dolphin secretly wished he could watch Caley every week, especially when he saw the stadium as he crossed the bridge on his way to sign on.

He had wished this for years, ever since his dad took him to Telford Street on their old horse, Bellshaw, to see County play, but they had lost 5-2 that night, and young Dolphin had marvelled at the skills of Wilson Robertson. He had mentioned this on the way home, but his dad had started to beat him and stamp on his bare feet with his tackety boots. Dolphin wished he had boots. One day his dad would get a right kicking, and it wouldn?t be from those Ferry guys like last time, for trying to sell clothes pegs down there.

So, his head was facing in. Apart from the splitting headache, and the godawful smell, it meant he had been in a state last night. He remembered the Buckie, and the White Diamond, but uneasily he remembered also the pink stuff in the milk bottle which Hooty had passed round, or was it Gudgie?

Yes, Gudgie, that was it! He said his science teacher had given it to him, no doubt hoping it would kill the little barsteward. Never mind, Dolphin would kill him later anyway.

Yesterday had started quite well. He was going over to the game with his old nag Brian. Brian was ready for the knacker?s yard, and was so old that Dolphin couldn?t remember where he got the name from.

The other guys, Hooty, Jailender, greenfinger and Gudgie, were going over to Inverness in the morning, to spend the day shoplifting before going on to punt some of the gear at the match, so Dolphin helped them push the Transit to get it started. It was such a poor starter that they usually pushed it all the way up to Hector?s monument first, then bump-started it on the way down,but today it started second time.

Of course they would have to leave the van on the North side of the bridge and walk in- Inverness had some traffic wardens who wouldn?t be fooled by the beer-bottle label where the tax disc should be. The Dingwall polis never noticed this kind of thing- they were too busy trying to find which end of the van would take the hay from their hands, and which end gave you the manure for the roses.

Dolphin himself had spent an hour or two rummaging around the shore before saddling up Brian and getting over to the Caley Stadium. Caley, bless them, had still to raise the wall at the away end, so he could hop over for free by standing on Brian?s back.

He saw no sign of the others at the game, but heard later that they were caught shoplifting in Inverness but freed after the game as the cells were starting to smell.

Caley had won 3-0, though it really could have been about 8. County were so bad they had brought on Boner in the second half, but Caley just brought on Christie and Boner nearly went back off again in a temper.

So they had all gathered for a right good bevvy, round the bonfire, by the shore, to drown their sorrows, though Dolphin couldn?t help feeling a warm glow as he recalled how Caley had wiped the floor with County. Caley really were the BIGGEST CLUB IN THE NORTH!

[Yngwie]

Good times!

[Donview]

Been away since initial post, forgotten how much "talent" there is on this forum. As Yngwie said, "good times" indeed.

Sorry you did'nt like the choice of songs Chris

Scariest thing of all is that the baseball clad Gudge in the farmyard scene enjoying the rear penetration looks remarkably like a younger, slimmer version of a certain Mr.McKenzie, and it's not you Scotty!!

Edited October 3, 2009 by Donview

[caley100]

Check out the summers Black isle awards....

Manofthe.doc

[Alex MacLeod]

Things must really be at world pandemic proportions six years on. Those stalwarts of the old Black Isle Banter Brigade, the Jailender and Staggy4Life are even staying away.

[Scarlet Pimple]

Ah Manfer--Still lurking in your little hidey hole I see, always watching for an opportunity to let your deprecating tongue wag ,under the guise of banter of course.

One day you will perhaps be able to summon up enough courage to come out in the open and be a real Man-fer--You know, one that can take it on the chin without lurking...

Don't look so hurt, Mannie, I am just kidding --it's all banter after all. B)

[Gabby]

I had forgotten about County Air - however the best has to be We're top of the league are your no' thread

[IMMORTAL HOWDEN ENDER]

And I still hold the record for the thread with most pages on the OvertheBridge.

To be fair - I really liked the Soccer AM wind up.