Aussie Humour....

[Johnboy]

Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and  slipped

over on the bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards or 

backwards, she slipped, did the splits and suctioned herself to the  floor.

She yelled out for her husband Bruce. "Bruce, Bruce" she yelled.

Bruce came running in.

"Bruce, I've gone an' bloody suctioned m'self  to the floor" she

said.

"Strewth" Bruce said and tried to pull her up.

"You're stuck like bloody superglue, woman. I'll go across the

road and get Cobba" (his mate).  They came back and they both tried to

pull her up.

"No way. We can't do it, have ta go with Plan B," Cobba said.

"Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce, "What's that"?

"I'll go get my hammer and chisel outta the ute and we can break

the tiles under her and release the vacuum." replied Cobba "Spot on,

you're a legend," Bruce said "While you're doing that, I'll stay here

and play with her tits."

"Play with her tits"? Cobba said, "Not exactly a good time for

that mate?"

"No" Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we

can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles aren't so expensive".

[+Gringo]

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[The Mantis]

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[Kingsmills]

:003: :003:

[Gabby]

:015: :015: :015:

Have you been looking through my window????

[Johnboy]

Too right I have, Gabby mate....!!  :023:

Some more from "Down Under"

The Cork

Two Arab terrorists are in a locker room taking a shower after their bomb making class in Melbourne , when one notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his ***.

If you do not mind me saying," stated the second, "that cork looks very uncomfortable. Why don't you take it out?"

I regret I cannot", lamented the first Arab. "It is permanently stuck in my ***."

"I do not understand," said the other.

The first Arab says, "I was walking along  Russell Street

And I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge old man in  Australian Flag attire with a white beard and Akubra hat came boiling out. He said, "I am Captain Ozzie, the Genie. I can grant you one wish."

I said, "No sh1t?"

God Bless Australia