the things you get at tescos...

[f*ballers wife]

oh my!!!

My elbow hurts like ****. I suppose I'd better see a doctor!"

"Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at Tesco. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid.....a lot quicker and better than a doctor and you get Club card points".

So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco. He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the urine

sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your

arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks".

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap

water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and m*sturbated into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen. He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following:

1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.

2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better........

Thank you for shopping at Tesco.

[Johnboy]

That's a classic - FBW - You deserve the clap for that....!!

:015: :015: :015: :015: :015: :015: :015: :015: :015:

[CaleyJulz]

i sent grnnny that one i deserve the clap lol thats not fair fecking typical family fecking steling me jokes but still loves ya granny

[Johnboy]

Sorry - CCC - You deserve the clap for that....!!!! :015: :015: :015:

[f*ballers wife]

oh my!!!

ok sweeti, on this occation i'll let you take the full credit for it since the clap is the reward! lucky, LUCKY lady!!! :021:

[Johnboy]

Credit where credit's due, FBW.... I'm happy giving anyone the clap....!! :003: :003:

[CaleyJulz]

lololol johnboy

[f*ballers wife]

Credit where credit's due, FBW.... I'm happy giving anyone the clap....!! :003: :003:

oh my!!!

that, sweeti, is cos you're a tart! :014: :015: