Lessons your Mother taught you!

[Mrs Pauliebee]

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL  DONE. 

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me  RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 

3.. My mother taught me about TIME  TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.

"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE  LOGIC.

"If  you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the shop with me."

6. My mother taught me  FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother  taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me  about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me  about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother  taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all those peas are gone."

11. My mother  taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My  mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 

"I brought you into this world and I can take you out."

14.  My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR  MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

15.  My mother taught me about  ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. 

"Just wait until we get home."

17.. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18 My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way." 

19. My mother taught me  ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me  HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother  taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your  vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 

"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 

24. My mother taught me  WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand" 

25. And my favorite: - My mother  taught me about JUSTICE.

"One day you'll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you" 

[L_G]

:015: :015: :015:

Oh so very true.  The scarey thing is when you first hear yourself deliver some of those lines to your own children (even although you always promised yourself you would never do it).  :015: :023: :023: :023:

[CaleyJulz]

Mrspb there great and ohhhhhhh so true ive like l-g started using them ..... its really scarey

P.S I know my kids will turn out fine just like me in the last quote !!!!  :015:  :015:  :015:

[f*ballers wife]

oh my!!!

and the first time you hear yourself say one of them, you then know its true...... you DO turn into your mother! :020:

[CaleyJulz]

If i turn out like my mother then god help me ...........  :L :L :L but  if my kids turn out like mthey will be just  PERFECT !!!! :L :L

[Guest Arab4Ever]

you missed the "stop waving that around or you'll poke someones eye out", thats a common parentism :003:

[IMMORTAL HOWDEN ENDER]

My mother told me not to swear, to be polite and courteous at all times and to blend into the crowd.