Friends,Romans,Countrymen....

[Guest couchpotato]

Julius Caesar was addressing the crowd in the Coliseum. 'Friends, Romans and Countrymen, lend me your ears. Tomorrow I take our glorious army to conquer Northern Europe and I shall start with France. We shall kill many Gauls and return victorious.'

The crowd are up on their feet 'Hail Caesar, hail mighty Caesar'

Brutus turns to his mate and says ' He doesn't half talk some crap. He couldn't fight his way out of a wet parchment bag.'

Six months later, Caesar comes back having conquered France and addresses the crowd in the Coliseum. ' Friends, Romans and Countrymen, I have returned from our campaign in France and as I promised, we killed 50,000 Gauls'.

The crowd is up on their feet again. 'Hail Caesar, hail mighty Caesar'.

Brutus once again turns to his mate 'I'm sick of his crap, I'm off to France to check this out.' So Brutus sets of for France and three weeks later he comes back to Rome.

Caesar is addressing the public in the Coliseum again 'Friends, Romans and Countrymen, tomorrow we set off for Britain and we are going to sort them out'

The crowd is up on their feet. 'Hail Caesar, hail mighty Caesar'

Brutus jumps up and shouts, 'Caesar, you are a liar. You told us that you had killed 50,000 Gauls in France but I've been there to check it out and you only killed 25,000!!!!'

The crowd is stunned and all sit down in silence.

Caesar gets up and looks slowly round the Coliseum then across at Brutus and says, 'Brutus, you are forgetting one thing... Away Gauls count double in Europe.'

....................Sorry,i'll get me coat.