Church service

[+Gringo]

An elderly couple was attending church services, about halfway

through she leans over and says, " I just had a silent fart. What do you think I

should do?"

He replies "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."

[kaiser]

A man had two great tickets for the FA Cup final.

As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in

the seat next to him. "No", he says, "the seat is empty".

"This is incredible!" said the man, "who in their right mind would have

a seat like this for the FA cup final, the biggest sporting event in the

year, and not use it?"

He says, "well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed

to come with me, but she passed away. This is the first Cup Final we

haven't been together since we got married".

"Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. I guess you couldn't

find someone else, a friend or relative or even a neighbour to take the

seat?"

The man shakes his head... "No. They're all at the funeral".

[f*ballers wife]

An elderly couple was attending church services, about halfway

through she leans over and says, " I just had a silent fart. What do you think I

should do?"

He replies "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."

oh my!!!