Patron Saints of Football Clubs

[+DoofersDad]

It's the end of the season and the world cup has yet to start so I thought I'd introduce a bit of nonsense. I came across the name of St Gertrude of Nivelles who is apparently the patron saint of the fear of mice and that set me wondering about other obscure patron saints and which ones could be associated with football clubs.

I can think of 3 Scottish footbal clubs with patron saints - St Johnstone, St Mirren and Ross County.

St Johnstone's patron saint is Jimmy or Jinkie Johnstone who many older supporters will remember as a tricky winger for Celtic and Scotland. He never played for St Johnstone but they have adopted him as their patron saint to provide a statement for the way they feel the game should be played. This encourages the fans to believe the team will play attacking football and gives a generally good image for the club. As a result St Johnstone consistently punch above their weight.

St Mirren's patron saint is, of course ,the wonderful Saint Helen Mirren. As you know, Paisley is not a pleasant place but by associating itself with the fragrent Dame Helen the club immediately produces a feelgood factor by its very name. Younger fans may think of Dame Helen only in roles playing the Queen or menopausal senior police officers but when she was younger she was quite a looker - I should refrain from saying any more on the subject as Doofer may read this and tell Doofer's Mum! Saint Helen is a superb actress and the football club, by adopting her are also pretending to be what they are not.

Ross County's saint is the Highland's own Aggie MacKenzie, star of TV shows such as "How clean is your house?" Being a Highland lass, she has been horrified by the state of Dingwall and decided, without any publicity, to clean the place up. Her contribution to caravan cleansing has been remarkable and has been rewarded by Sainthood being bestowed upon her. Saint Aggie has been shortened to St Aggie and that is how the nickname of the Staggies came into being.

The achievement of Aggie cannot be underestimated. The sheer volume of rubbish removed from the town and surrounding area has been huge. Once removed it was shipped across the North Atlantic and dumped into an Icelandic volcano for incineration. The volume of smoke and ash that resulted from this has shut down European airspace in recent weeks but at least Dingwall is now a cleaner place. Whilst the folk of Dingwall may be delighted by Aggies activities, the Icelanders are not. To show their displeasure they have now changed the name of the volcano to Eyjahcountywonfeckall.

So, can any one else think of any other teams which should have particular people being awarded a Sainthood? Or are there real Saints who should be associated with particular teams? For example, I would suggest St Jude, the patron saint of desparation and hopeless causes could be adopted by Elgin City.

[Yngwie]

There's always the patron saint of dodgy keepers, St Ivel.

[CaleyStag]

Southampton started out life in 1885 as Southampton Saint Mary's FC, they now of course play at the St Mary's Stadium, and the clubs nickname is 'the Saints'. So I'm guessing St Mary would be the patron Saint of Southampton Football Club, probably...

[DornochCaley]

Cheek! Everyone should know the name of Jimmy "Jinky" Johnstone. One of the greatest Scottish players ever. If not one of the best British players ever.

Out classed the great Di Stefano at his own party!

[starchief]

There's a great sight here that lists the patron saints:

http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/patron00.htm

Some real beauties like the patron saint against caterpillars. That's AGAINST caterpillars. The mind boggles.

Plenty of others, like who to pray to if you lose your keys, or are suffering from magic (actually the latter seems to be pretty good, I haven't heard of anyone being attacked by magic for some time).

Would Drausinius be our patron saint? The patron saint of "invincible people" (or is that for just Danny).

[gerrybrisbane]

Saint Zita, Patron Saint against Losing Keys! LOL! This is hillarious, no wonder people are turning against the church.

[gerrybrisbane]

But wait, there's more...

Saint Drogo and Saint Germaine Cousin, patrons of unattractive people.

[Alex MacLeod]

Our board could adopt Doofers Dad. He be St Doofer the patron saint of comics