Funny Football Quotes

[Guest hm_murdock]

Inspired by the cliche thread I thought it would be fun to have some funny football quotes that were not cliches. I have found these Gordon Strachan quotes to kick it off:

Southampton manager Gordon Strachan on Wayne Rooney

Its an incredible rise to stardom. At 17 you're more likely to get a

call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson.

Reporter: Gordon, Do you think James Beattie deserves to be in the

England squad?

Strachan: I dont care, I'm Scottish

Reporter: "Gordon, can we have a quick word please?"

Strachan: "Velocity" [walks off]

Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are

the right man to turn things around?

Strachan: No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job

and I said, "No, I think they should have got George Graham because

I'm useless."

Reporter: Is that your best start to a season?

Strachan: Well I've still got a job so it's far better than the

Coventry one, that's for sure.

Reporter: Are you getting where you want to be with this team?

Strachan: We're not doing bad. What do you expect us to be like? We

were eighth in the league last year, in the cup final and we got into

Europe. I don't know where you expect me to get to. Do you expect us

to win the Champions League?

Reporter: Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?

Strachan: You're spot on! You can read me like a book.

Strachan: I've got more important things to think about. I've got a

yogurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my

priority rather than Agustin Delgado.

Reporter: This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy

to get your first win under your belt, won't you?

Strachan: You're right. It is a daft question. I'm not even going to

bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you're spot on there.

Reporter: Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?

Strachan: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home,

become an alcoholic and maybe! jump of a bridge. Umm, I think I can

take it, yeah.

Reporter: There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?

Strachan: Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here.

I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick, down negative man,

down.

Reporter: where will Marion Pahars fit into the team line-up?

Strachan: Not telling you! It's a secret. >

Reporter: You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?

Strachan: I don't take stupid comments lightly either.

Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were

better than you today?

Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there....

[Interthenet Jnr]

[Caley Fish]

It's a shame he went to Celtic because he is a hero.

[amc]

[Guest Lauraness]

crazy wee oompa loompa that he is

[Scotty]

yeah - great sense of humour .... i especially like the 'velocity' one ... saw a clip of that one before

[Kingsmills]

:) :)

[EWS]

People think that Ranieri and The Special One are great interviewees, but Strachan is by far the best. Doesn't take any crap, and puts reporters in their place. I remember on 90 minutes once, they had Chick on it and he was asked about his favourite people to interview, and went on a long spiel on how Strachan is just a wonder to interview, and after he actually finishes stands around to chat.

He seems like a genuinly nice chap, and one that I would love to meet. He also knows his football, and can say some belters. I actually think that Gordan will be a great after dinner speaker, and also possibly someone who would do his part for charity, I think he did a lot when he was at Coventry, I was genuinly disapointed when he didn't get the Scotland job. No matter who he manages, he has my respect, and if he wants it, my friendship.

I do hope our paths cross in the future.

[broomie boy]

i used to like him till he went to septic............