FAO All IT workers

[Georgeios]

No Jay I was anwering another post with about cups of tea, We call it 1st line and 2nd line, 3rd line's the bin or the Equipment supplyer..

[absent friend]

Here is one oldie that spent the last two days on my PC with remote geeks trying to install a new system. 'That's ok now sir, just carry on from here inserting your details' 1 hour later, many sweary words from me, I again phoned, this time another geek 'No that was wrong, now try this and then insert details' More sweary words and more repeat calls and two very sweaty days later and the job is done. Now that is because I am older?? On behalf of all the older guys - IT WAS THE YOUNG GEEKS FAULT!

What was wrong with it?

A previous system that they endeavored to delete, was only partially deleted but they thought they had totally erased it and therefore they assumed it was the new system/ my computer/ the other geek(s)/ the weather/the day of the week/the telephone system/my accent, that was at fault.

[Jay_7]

No Jay I was anwering another post with about cups of tea, We call it 1st line and 2nd line, 3rd line's the bin or the Equipment supplyer..

Ah I see. When I was in Cap, it was Tiers. Tier 1 logged calls, Tier 1.5 tried to help a bit more with limited remote support, Tier 2 (me) was desktop remote support, Tier 3 was server support and Tier 4 was management.

Edited August 19, 2009 by Jay_7

[DALNEIGHCALEY]

Rock 'n' roll

[Jay_7]

A previous system that they endeavored to delete, was only partially deleted but they thought they had totally erased it and therefore they assumed it was the new system/ my computer/ the other geek(s)/ the weather/the day of the week/the telephone system/my accent, that was at fault.

Assumptions are bad news usually.

[starchief]

Before you get too carried away with how wonderful you all are, that's you that is. The IT Department is always soooooooo helpful

"Oy! No professionals!"

[Jay_7]

Before you get too carried away with how wonderful you all are, that's you that is. The IT Department is always soooooooo helpful ;)

"Oy! No professionals!"

I love how we're all tarred with that brush.

[Georgeios]

;)

[Yngwie]

There are some much more flattering TV portrayals of your sort ..............like the IT Crowd.

[Georgeios]

IT crowds mint!! "Have you switched it off and back on?"

[starchief]

David Brent also appeared in some corporate training videos for Microsoft. My favourite line is:

"27% of our employees (at Microsoft) are women."

Brent: "I guess you need a lot of secretaries"

[Drochit Blue]

......20 years as IT Manager running a helpdesk, try these...all true

1)

Director: the coffee holder in my PC is stuck

Me: what coffee holder?

Director: the one that slides out the front

Me: that's the cd drive for fucks sake!

2)

Secretary: my office is on fire

Me: well that's nothing to do with IT, evacuate then

Secretary: well ot's really only the phone socket that's on fire, I put my shopping bag down next to it and some wshing up liquid spilt onto the socket

3)

Director, 4pm on a Friday: can you set up a global email system to cover the new office in Philadelphia?

Me: sure, when do you need it by?

Director: Monday morning...

4)

Secretary: my monitor has gone a funny colour

Me: have you stuck fridge magnets to the monitor case...again?

Secretary: ...yes!

5)

Director: I want to copy then print a letter I've received in the post today

Me (annoyed): hold it up to the monitor and press 'print'

Director: done that , nothing is happening

....and for now the last....2 staff who both finished on a Friday for holidays forwarded their mails to each other while they were away. By Monday morning 15,000 emails had bounced between the 2 mail accounts and crashed the network

Bring self-employed now is SO much better

[kiltarlity]

A few years since I worked fixing computers. Often I found users with a little knowledge was the most dangerous.

The one that sticks in my mind, was the guy that bought parts to build 3 pc's for a local hotel. When he came to get the bits, he bragged that building pc's was easy he'd built more than I'd had hot dinners.

He rang me next day, cursing the bits I had supplied. They don't work!! Not one machine will boot...

I asked him to bring one tower too me.

On inspection he had mounted the mainboard directly to the case, but had failed to install any of the little brass standoffs that came with the case..

That mistake cost him ?600+

[Jay_7]

A few years since I worked fixing computers. Often I found users with a little knowledge was the most dangerous.

The one that sticks in my mind, was the guy that bought parts to build 3 pc's for a local hotel. When he came to get the bits, he bragged that building pc's was easy he'd built more than I'd had hot dinners.

He rang me next day, cursing the bits I had supplied. They don't work!! Not one machine will boot...

I asked him to bring one tower too me.

On inspection he had mounted the mainboard directly to the case, but had failed to install any of the little brass standoffs that came with the case..

That mistake cost him ?600+

Schoolboy error that. The job I had before I worked for Cap (a local PC shop which shall remain nameless) we got a new guy that moved up from Glasgow, had an MCSE and CCNA. His first task was to build a gaming machine for someone. Mounted an Asus Striker Extreme straight to the case without standouts....

[Jay_7]

From: IT

To: all employees

When an IT person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your problems right out. We don't even like eating food, we exist only to serve.

This has now occured twice since I started my lunch at 12... :025:

[Georgeios]

Twats, I had one this morning...

Caller - My accounts locked...

Me - Whats your user name.

Caller - **********

Me - Can you remember your password, I can just unlock it for you.

Caller - Aye!! I'll try it again, Stay on the phone. Click Type type click Funk! Sigh Click type type click AHH Funk

Me - Do you want me to change it for you?

Caller - NO!!! I FUNKING know its right! Its written in my book...... Type type click AAAAAAHHHHHHH Bang!!! funk funk, Can you reset it for me please Im sure I got it right...

Me - aye no bother... Ive reset it for you to :@~{:@}}{??@}}{ (Thats a **** to remember) It'll ask you to change it to what ever you want it to be just make sure it meets the criteria....

Caller - Right, type type click click... Funk Funk this things doing my head in!!!! Type click click FUNKSAKE!! IM GOING To boot this thing to Funk,

Me - Right hang on I'll Remote on and have a look........ CLICK CLICK

(Window opens, It looks ok so i type in his passwore (the one i reset it to) and it worked.... Im thinking this guys at it, I got him to change his password and it worked Happy days.... so I thought....

Logged him off and back on... Logged on fine happy days!! Untill I hung up.. the next call was him again....

Caller - RIGHT ARE YOU TAKING THE ****!!!! THIS HAD BETTER BE FIXED!! IF I FIND OUT YOUR TAKING THE **** IM COMING TO SEE YOU!!!!

Me - Eh?

Caller - You heard what i said,

ME - Whats up now......?

Caller - the same funking thing as before but I'm on another machine...

Me.... Hummmmmm *Pause* Sir can you just tell me what your password is? We'll change it in a min anyway

Caller - **************

Me - Sir can you just go and tell me what order your top line is on the first key board?

Caller - Your taking the **** here its QRWEYTUIOP

Me - Sir it sould be QWERTYUIOP.......Someones swapped your keys round

Caller - Hey C**T did you touch my keyboard (some on in his office started to **** himself!!) *Line goes dead*

Mint crack... the guys just been in with Cookies!! awsome!

[Jay_7]

:P How can you not notice a key is no longer where it used to be?!

[Georgeios]

How can you not notice a key is no longer where it used to be?!

:P :D

[kiltarlity]

Found this, though you guys might appreciate.

video "How To Get The IT Dept. To Do Their Actual Job!"

http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-get-th...heir-actual-job

Edited August 21, 2009 by kiltarlity