What's the dopiest, daftest thing you've ever done

[The Mantis]

Last year I put two contact lenses in the same eye.

Also- Mrs Mantis works in a load of different chemist shops as a locum.

One day I drove her to Musselburgh in the morning. Then at 5 o'clock I sat outside Penicuik branch waiting for her until she rang my mobile and gave me a mouthful of abuse.

[Yngwie]

"Senior moments" is the term  :016:

[Yngwie]

Although I must admit to filling a diesel car with unleaded  :017:

Most expensive tank of fuel ever.

[Kingsmills]

I have, not all that long ago, gone to work with one black shoe and one brown one.

[buffy]

possibly three weeks ago i did what it says in the title...

KIDDING Dave! ;)

however i have managed to do the following since moving in with the veggie...

1. cooked quorn mince until it resembled burnt breadcrumbs - naebuddy telt me ye had to soak it first...

2. went to grab the quilt aff said non meat eater and ended up sandwiched between the radiator and the bed after he decided i already had too much quilt and he hung oan for dear life

3. toddled around tesco with the tiniest shopping trolley ever only to fill it up with half the shop and someone telling me (at the tills) that ye only need to fold up the kiddie seat in the bigger trolleys to use them...

4. leaving the thinnest mattress in the world outside for anyone to pick up, having it nicked on the same night and then having it returned the following night...

and

5. falling asleep on the train from edinburgh heading to hopefully dunfermline and waking up in.... perth and being asked if i was heading to inverness????

sigh.

Buffy x

[The Mantis]

That reminds me of a mate of mine back in the 70s when the double decker buses had the door at the back.

He was out on the pish and got the bus home. He sat on the long sideways seat at the back door and asked the conductor to wake him up at his stop.

When the conductor shook him he just jamp  :002: out the door onto the pavement, but the bus was still moving at the time and he got a trifle bashed.

[Scotty]

4. leaving the thinnest mattress in the world outside for anyone to pick up, having it nicked on the same night and then having it returned the following night...

That one is a beauty !!!!!

[Johnboy]

Having lived in Dunfermline for several years Buffy's experience didn't entirely surprise me....

I looked out my bedroom window one morning cursing and swearing as I realised somebody had nicked all the wheel-trims off my pride & joy - my beloved Ford Sierra -

For two days I drove around without any wheel-trims and lo & behold on the 3rd day looking out my window, I was utterly amazed to see that whoever had taken them, must have had a change of mind and had put them back on again.....!!!

Strange people in auld Dunfermline toon.... :024:

[CaleyD]

At my brothers wedding in Glasgow, one of the guests had the alloys swiped off their car.  My Brothers wife to be being very well connected in Glasgow made one phone call and they were back on the car within the hour.  Keeping it on topic...going to a wedding where the reception was being held at a pub in Blackhill.

What else......

Reading a book by candlelight, falling asleep and waking up holding a ball of fire.

Burning boiled eggs....twice

Volunteering to go bottom of a 12 man boardy attempt on a tarzan swing - resulted in a broken arm.

Messing about with homemade bow and arrow as kids and getting an arrow lodged in my eye.

Sending an e.mail to my line manager calling a guy from another dept a tosser and copying the guy in on it  :029:

The rest are just far to embarrassing to be shared....sorry  :015:

[+Wanderer]

Sending an e.mail to my line manager calling a guy from another dept a ****** and copying the guy in on it  :029:

Reminds me off the time I 'replied all' to my assistant requesting they do something to 'get this monkey off my back'...I broke the land speed record getting to IT to see if they could retrieve it!

:029: 

[SMEE]

When I was wee.........i took the bulb out of a torch......and decided to see how hard i could bite it before it shattered. Didnt take much and i cut my tongue.

Also wen I was wee, sitting on the pavement, I found the head of a match, so i decided to ignite it, by scraping it using my finger.....it worked!!

[+dumpmaster]

Used Imac on my face !!!  :019:

                                                                                                           

Because my father went abroad at very short notice with all my shaving equipment, and my old boss was ex RAF officer who hated stubble.

I looked like Tommy Tomato for about 2 days ( but didn't have to shave for about a week after )  :029:

[PullMyFinger]

When I was wee.........i took the bulb out of a torch......and decided to see how hard i could bite it before it shattered. Didnt take much and i cut my tongue.

Also wen I was wee, sitting on the pavement, I found the head of a match, so i decided to ignite it, by scraping it using my finger.....it worked!!

Used Imac on my face !!! :019:

                                                                                                         

Because my father went abroad at very short notice with all my shaving equipment, and my old boss was ex RAF officer who hated stubble.

I looked like Tommy Tomato for about 2 days ( but didn't have to shave for about a week after )  :029:

:rotflmao:

In my experience the dopiest thing I've ever done was get married, the daftest was repeating the whole fiasco with another bunny boiler.

[Heilandee]

Heading off to my first disco as a keen to impress 13 year old,Henry Cooper  used to advise "splash it all over" regarding Brut aftershave..........i didnt know you had to keep it clear of yer b****x!!!  :crazy07:

[Caley Mad In Berks]

A few years ago, under senior management's watchful eye, I had to erect a new bathroom cabinet, one of these horrible flat pack kits from you know where.  Anyway, after fighting the user instructions to get it assembled, I measured up, drilled the holes, etc and finally mounted it on the wall.  Only when I finally put the glass doors in, and they immediately fell out, did I realise it was upside down!  Much mirth from senior management of course, who in her wisdom, decided that she wanted it moved an inch or two anyway.  So I unscrew it all, remove it from the wall, measure up again, drill the new holes, and eventually remount it in the new position.  Go to put the doors in again and what happens.......? 

You've guessed it,............ upside down again!    Took a lot of living down.

[SMEE]

Last year,  a friend and I decided to go fishing at a loch i had been at once, many years ago and it was one my mate had never fished. So we arrive at the car park....get out of the car and got our gear together. I was a little unsure of how to get to the place i had fished previously...so we set off in what I thought was the gerneral direction. All the track we chose to follow failed to ring any bells. We carried on regardless fighting our way through the goarse fully kitted up with our heavy backpacks. After an hour of battling through the jungle like growth and the heat of a summers day.......well............we ended right back at the carpark where we started. We had done a complete loop!! :015: :015:

Anyhow...i finally recognised the route we should have taken (only about 20 meters from where we originally started), so off we set again. After about 40 mins, we reached the camping/fishing spot. We took of our backpacks and took out the tents. set them up, got the rods set up, and I asked my mate where the worms were. Well guess what........he had handily left them under the drivers seat in his car!! So all in all.......a complete shambles of a day.

[Mrs Pauliebee]

:015: :015: :015:

I've had two "being dopey in morning" disasters in the bathroom recently...

Shaving underarm area...reaching for the deodorant..picked up hairspray...didn't realise until it was too late - **** did that hurt!!  :029:

Other one was after Highland March, threw toilet bag back in bathroom, walked into Bathroom still asleep, managed to put Savlon on my toothbrugh instead of Toothpaste - feckin horrible!

I try to be more awake now in the mornings!  :016:

Mrs PB

x

[Guest donmac298]

During my time in Germany me and my mate were messing about, I had a Browning 9 millimeter round (bullet for the uninitiated!) in my mouth, my mate uttered something funny, I laughed and swallowed the round.  It took four days for the round to come out the other "end" - the longest four days of my life!  I was expecting to explode any minute!

[maimie]

couldn't possibly say.....    :004: :001:

[Scarlet Pimple]

I once swallowed a tack--I think my mother nearly had a hearta-tack.

Come to think about it --my right of "passage" probably contributed to my current piles condition. :002:

You know, like the one IHE described in great detail at least 2 to 3 years ago right on here. And then said my treatment suggestions  helped him enormously.....

are you there IHE? How is your condition these days? Perky? 

Second major gaffe was when  here in Canada I applied for my own job.

I was desperate to get away from my General Manager who destroyed everybody he touched. I then received a conciliatory call from himself asking me very nicely to meet him at one of the offices for a chat. He refused to explain why he was firing me and when I demanded a three month  package since he had "nothing on me" so to speak he screamed at me that that was just what he had expected from me. Within 3 minutes he had come back from phoning the Chairman of the Board agreeing to pay me. Later his wife divorced him and he got fired from his position, presumably for drinking too much and changing from Mr Jekyll into Mr Hyde immediately thereafter. I regret to advise that he came from Nairn.

[buffy]

PMSL

johnboy...whaur aboot in dunfy did ye live?

Buffy x

ps mrs PB thats a braw photy of you and yer ither half :)

[Johnboy]

PMSL

johnboy...whaur aboot in dunfy did ye live?

Buffy x

ps mrs PB thats a braw photy of you and yer ither half :)

Why..?  Was it you that took my wheel trims..?

Not far frae Buffys Brae oddly enuff...!!

:010: :010:

[buffy]

LOL

noo that's where i fancied always living... buffies brae. i coulda been (in my prime which i think was loooong ago) a buff buffy in the buff in buffie's brae.

ochity weel.

could ye drap me an email please johnboy... buffy2angel@hotmail.com

muchos gratias

over 'n' oot

Buffy x

[CaleyJulz]

To many to mention but i tend to say the wrong thing at the wrong time ermmmmmm or geet my words totally muddeled up ohhhhh and saying the stupidest things !!!!

[buffy]

julie, ye wanting broon sauce on yer kebab was bad enough... ;)

buffy x