Seasons Greetings

[Action Man]

Hi everyone.

I wanted to send you a holiday greeting, but it is so difficult in today's world

to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my lawyer

yesterday, and on her advice I wish to say the following:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an

environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, nonaddictive,

gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practised with the

most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your

choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of

others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically

uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year

2010, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures

whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to imply

that Scotland is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard

to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual

preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely

transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise

by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others

and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of

the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual

application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a

subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to

replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the

wisher.

Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message; however, a

significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced.

Regards

J.

[Alex MacLeod]

Aye, and a merry christmas to you too!

[+DoofersDad]

Don't think much of your lawyer. By refering to the winter solstice you are immediately disenfranchising the peoples of the half of the planet about to celebrate their summer solstice

Seasons greetings to all.

[Yngwie]

At work I've just received this cracker of an emailed Christmas card, which was surrounded by festive graphics etc. Here's the message it contained, which has really lifted my spirits and got me in the festive mood.

Although we no longer send cards for environmental reasons, we wanted to take this opportunity to thank you for your continued help over the past year and we look forward to staying in contact through 2010 as the economy begins to recover after the financial crisis and global recession. It is only by listening closely to businesses and economic agencies that the Bank?s policy response can be as pro-active as possible.

Woo hoo!

:party01: