Parliamo Unvarness.

[Scarlet Pimple]

Dumpmaster

I can just see you rolling yer eyes and wiping the snot frae yer nose after that one.

you are a funny one the noo... :015: :015: :015:

[Kingsmills]

Only true Invernessians can pronounce words such as butter or water without ever involving the letter T.

[Scotty]

Only true Invernessians can pronounce words such as butter or water without ever involving the letter T.

woohoo .... I still pass the test !!!

[Charles Bannerman]

Only the Queen actually speaks Queens English.

The queen speaks affected posh gibberish with even more amazingly corrupted vowel sounds than Inverness. I suspect that particular blend of plummy accent is an offshoot of the bastardised English pronunciation of her many German and Danish relatives who have piled in here to freeload in a constant stream since 1714..

[Kingsmills]

Not the most ardent supporter of our great monarchy then Charles ?

[Charles Bannerman]

Given that they enjoy massive wealth, privilege and, inexplicably, deference simply on the strength of their ancestors having been more unscrupulous thugs than ours were, and that even that ancestry is highly dubious due to the  royal sport of sleeping around indescriminately..... no I'm not.  :003:

[Kingsmills]

I've been working late tonight. I think I'll stop off on the way home for a red puddeen super for my supper but I'll eat it in the car as Mrs Kinsmills has put be on a diet. She's convinced I should be looseen weight.

[tm4tj]

:015:

fukkeeen **** mun :010:

[Guest harrysmithno.7]

Aye mun,  I'm no feeling myself the day,  and the wife she's no feeling herself  either.  Infact she hasn't been feeling herself all week!

How about you mun, are you feeling yer self ?

[Charles Bannerman]

Aye mun,  I'm no feeling myself the day,  and the wife she's no feeling herself  either.  Infact she hasn't been feeling herself all week!

How about you mun, are you feeling yer self ?

Naw ah'm no feeleen masel coz ah've been feeleen yer wife instead which is why she's no been feeleen hersel all week - she's no' needed to!

[Guest harrysmithno.7]

I was wundering why she was looking so poorly !

[Granty24]

rite enuff mun - I'm telleen ya - as sure as god's in Dingwall, I'm telleen ya - Aye that'll be rite then!!!

[absent friend]

Overheard at Aberdeen Royal Infirmary, A & E Dept, 8am on a Sunday - from an overnight cubicle:

Best Inverness accent 'Nurse, nurse, I need a bot-ill!'  'Billy, be quite!' ' But nurse I do!' 'Billy!!!'  'Nurse make it a bot-ill of Glen Grant!'

We all fell about laughing despite our sore bits.  Then Billy to nurse 'How's yer murrer, Jean?'  Nurse 'Not too bad Billy'. 'Do you get home much?'  'Not really'  'Gees, I miss the Gilleons, do you Jean?'  'Not really, Billy' 'But you don't go the dram like me, Jean'  Silence for a wee while,

'Jean, can I get money for a taxi?'  'Billy, if I give you money for a taxi you'd spend it on drink!'  'Jean, you're right, you can see straight through me'

Exit one happy soberish, drunk. Made us all happy and me proud of him.  Strong Inverness accent, no badness, no swear words, just a need for a drop more water of life.  This lightened up the A & E for us all.

   

If I remember correctly Billy stayed on Druid Road, don't know which part of Inverness Jean, or to be more correct 'her murrer' came from. 

[PullMyFinger]

Aye mun,  I'm no feeling myself the day,  and the wife she's no feeling herself  either.  Infact she hasn't been feeling herself all week!

How about you mun, are you feeling yer self ?

Ah'm no feeleen mahsell but ahm holdeen muh oan.

[alimci]

Only true Invernessians can pronounce words such as butter or water without ever involving the letter T.

Actually as a Nairnite with no letter T, when I went down to Glasgow Uni, people thought I was from Devon  :010:

[Guest harrysmithno.7]

Aye mun,  I'm no feeling myself the day,  and the wife she's no feeling herself  either.  Infact she hasn't been feeling herself all week!

How about you mun, are you feeling yer self ?

[buckett]

Ach, yer arsh!

[canuck]

As ex colleague in Post Office Telephones (prior to B.T.) and former Jags stalwart in the late 50's Rolland MacKenzie used to say'' Fukeeen seek o' it!'' some of our older users may remember Rolland as a pianist/ organist in a dance band which included laurel Avenue resident Charlie Masson on guitar. Unfortunately Rolland is no longer with us.

[Scarlet Pimple]

Charles  !  :015:

You are awful---but I like you. :002:

Brilliant but human..Yesssss! :cdn: :doh2: