Funniest thing you have heard

[Dan Clark]

what is the funniest thing you have heard from the crowd to a player or the ref or linesman at a caley game over the years ?

[Scotty]

The Tunnel Crew have had a few belters over the years ...... with Myself, Big Stu, Calum, Doresboy, Taz, Uncle Albert, ATT and P&B all in close attendance there was frequently an unspoken competition to out-do each other. Think Taz was usually declared the winner with some cutting yet humorous outbursts.

Cant remember quite what he said, but he had Yogi Hughes almost rolling on the ground during one of the games when Frank Connor started chasing the stand side linesman up the park waving one of his sticks at him .... guess that wouldnt happen in the SPL (no 4th official in lower divisions)  :015: :015: :015:

to be fair to Yogi - he was also one of the best on the other side of the wall - frequently opposing managers/subs got quite annoyed with remarks from the stand but Yogi would have a laugh and a joke and join in.

[CELTIC1CALEY3]

Funniest this season from Donald:

Donald to fourth official after a dodgy opposition tackle : Why does he (the ref) not watch the game ?

Fourth official : He is watching!

Donald : He's watching the ****** grass.

[metalgecko]

When Big Duncan shearer was playing for us he was taken out by someone (can't remember who). Cue " Ref, he can't foul him. That's our International"

Playing Dundee Utd in cup replay up here. Tommy MacLean was the manager at the time. We had to sit right next to the Utd fans and had to put up with their crap. As MacLean the Hamster was ranting on and getting more and more wound up it was the chant " MacLean get back in your wheel".

[CELTIC1CALEY3]

The News report on the Killie game says we shared 7 goals....3.5each?

[caley100]

It was a better time for banter/slagging when we were in the 3rd/2nd/1st divs, we stood at the wall and the banter was very good between us / ref's / players.

Willie Young was always good for a crack and came back with one liners when slagged.

A couple of good shouts at the ref ( not me)  was near the touchline, ref blows for a foul ( against us) holds his arm up to signify the foul, to the shout from the crowd ' hands up if you're a shyte ref '

Same one is shouted ' hands up if you're a poof'

In these days of stands and over zealous stewards, we cannot get the same banter with players/officials.

[monthecaley]

i remember one time someone started up the classic "gimme a C.." and forgot what came after L. there was a pregnant pause, then a roar of laughter from all in the stand

[The Mantis]

When Winters had that streak in his hair "Hey Winters, did your Maw have an affair with a badger?"

[Scotty]

remember the cup game V Rangers at Tannadice ... the Rangers keeper was going through one of his 'bloated' phases and the crowd began singing that "there's only two Andy Goram's" ..... he walked to the edge of his 18 yard box, looked towards the ICT fans and started rubbing his belly, then laughed and winked.

[jj_ict]

At the ICT v Hamilton (the one we cuffed them in after letting them take the lead).

John Rowbotham is the referee and there's a few groand around the crowd.  The ref blows the whistle to start the game and from behind me:

"That's a terrible decision ref...."

jj

[Stevie]

Not an ICT game, but I remember being at a Rangers game about 30 years ago with my uncle when I was a wee boy and being highly amused to here a Rangers fan shout to one of his own players, " hey Jackson (Colin) come on and show us your magic...................and f<?£!^g disappear !!!

[Scotty]

The ref blows the whistle to start the game and from behind me: "That's a terrible decision ref...."

Thats a classic - very funny  :015: :015:

[caley100]

When Winters had that streak in his hair "Hey Winters, did your Maw have an affair with a badger?"

I'm sure i heard that one too Mantis, but was it not a wee bit more like ' did yer ma sh*g a badger '

[Gabby]

The best I heard was at a Rugby League game - less than 30 seconds into the game and the ref blows a free kick after an opposition player fouled one of our players.

From behind me came the roar "He's been doing it all day ref"

[Gabby]

At another game the referee was just inept.

The Caxton Street end of Suncorp Stadium started chanting

I'm blind

I'm deaf

I wan't to be a Ref

[tm4tj]

This one made me chortle first time round.

During one of our games in our 'Pitoddrie season', decisions were going somewhat against us. Now, I had the misfortune to sit within earshot of one of our more moronic  followers and as the game wore on and the ref was making our man more and more exasperated with every blow of the whistle, it suddenly came to a head with yet another dubious call.  He exclaimed in perfectly clear Black Isle dialect, "can we have another referee, coz this ones broken".  (delivered in one breath and single tone)

Genius, and he doesn't even know it. :003:

I'm blind

I'm deaf

I wan't to be a Ref :015: :015:

How apprpriate :003:

[big man]

It was when we gained promotion a streaker came on to the pitch a policeman caught the offender and placed his hat over the offending appendage, as quick as a flash a voice from the crowd shouted "thats the second ***** thats been in that hat to-day" :015: :015: :015:

[EWS]

My brother (who sits just above the away dugout) told me of  a time last season when we beat Hibs 3-0 when they were on a good run.  Apparently, Mowbray likes to shout 'Total Football, Total Control' to his players.  Well, as the third goal goes in, apparently Mowbray does his old "Right lads, Total Football, Total Control" to which some guy sitting next to my brother shouts "Aye, Total PISH!"

Apparently Mowbray turned round and had a wee chuckle and a laugh.

[Guest CaleyJaggy]

**** you alex I was going to tell that story.  :017:

[EWS]

Didn't think you graced this forum anymore.

[Guest CaleyJaggy]

No I do it's just that I have been having problems posting on here, and reading and logging on

[The Mantis]

Not an ICT game, but I remember being at a Rangers game about 30 years ago with my uncle when I was a wee boy and being highly amused to here a Rangers fan shout to one of his own players, " hey Jackson (Colin) come on and show us your magic...................and f<?£!^g disappear !!!

I remember Colin Jackson. They used to call him the caramel wafer, because he was 'Gray and Dunn'.

[CELTIC1CALEY3]

I did not hear this one, like many I saw it. At the time it was funny - today it is somewhat sad.

It was of course the 'goal' scored by Andy MacLaren for Kilmarnock againgst ICT in the Cup. The long range shot bounced down from the underside of the bar about a metre over the line. Jim Calder caught it as it bounced out and played on as if nothing had happened. Shortly afterwards McLaren was sent off. Funny - but sometimes luck is not on your side and I suspect Dougie McDonald now mutters'don't mess with me!'.

[chris123]

i remember when we were going for top six and wed been beaten by aberdeen. we needed to beat livi and for hibs to beat or draw with aberdeen. as things go neithjer result came off for us but i remember a player for hibs called konte who couldnt play football for love nor money (poor chap) came on and of course gave the ball away instantly. he was given a hurl of abuse frm the hibs fans who clealry disliked him every time he gave the ball away. he then proceded to foul i think it was bary nicholson and one hibs fan shouted "*** on ref gie us a break hes to stupit tae foul"

i also remember being at a tottenham game when a male streaker  ran on the pitch and the fans began singing "is tht all she gets at home" fantastic

[Action Man]

A couple of years ago, I think it was against St. Mirren, Yardley had been diving about the park like he was being mugged, after one incident when he was being assisted of the park ( again ) an ambulance came across the bridge to a cry of " taxi for Yardley ". Priceless.