You know your not a student anymore when .......

[Scotty]

You know your not a student anymore when .......

1. 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to sleep

2. Having sex in a single bed is absurd.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. Your fantasies of having sex with three women with lesbian tendencies are replaced by fantasies of having sex with anyone at all.

5. You dont volunteer for clinical trials at the local hospital

6. You know all of the people sleeping in your house.

7. You hear your favourite song in the lift at work.

8. Informative TV does not include Richard and Judy.

9. The bank manager doesnt write threatening letters any more.

10. You carry an umbrella.

11. Seven-day benders are no longer realistic.

12. You dont go to Tesco with all your friends.

13. You have standing orders and direct debits.

14. The heating works in your house.

15. Your friends marry and divorce instead of get together and break-up.

16. You pay the government thousands of pounds every year.

17. You go from 130 days of holidays to 20.

18. Jeans and a jumper no longer qualify as dressed up.

19. Youre the one calling the police because those **** kids next door wont turn down the stereo.

20. You get out of bed in the morning even if its raining.

21. Washing up is not an annual ritual.

22. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

23. You dont know what time the kebab shop closes anymore.

24. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

25. You feed your dog Pal instead of McDonalds.

26. You dont get ideas for drinks from local tramps.

27. You dont put half-finished curries in the fridge to eat later.

28. You dont spend half your day strategically planning pub crawls.

29. You hate scrounging students.

30. You no longer have a strange attraction to road signs when drunk.

31. Sleeping in the lounge is a no-no.

32. You cant persuade your flatmates to Drink till dawn.

33. You dont spend Wednesday afternoons in the pub.

34. You always know where you are when you wake up.

35. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.

36. A fire in the kitchen is not a laugh.

37. You go to the chemist for Panadol and antacids, not Condoms and pregnancy test kits.

38. A £3 bottle of wine is no longer pretty good stuff.

39. You can remember the name of the person you wake up next to.

40. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.

41. You dont have mice living in your kitchen.

42. Grocery lists are longer than pot noodles & cans of lager.

43. You dont go to Liquor Save to buy Vodka.

44. You have hoovered.

45. Breaking the law means doing 40 in a 30 zone.

46. I just cant drink the way I used to replaces Im never going to drink that much again.

47. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

48. You dont experiment with banned substances.

49. You dont get drunk at home, to save money, before going to a pub.

50. You don’t find a dump left in the toilet hysterically funny anymore.

[Interthenet Jnr]

:021: :015:

[f*ballers wife]

oh my!!!

2. Having sex in a single bed is absurd.

really? :004:

39. You can remember the name of the person you wake up next to.

really? :005:

33. You dont spend Wednesday afternoons in the pub.

really?

[Johnboy]

Over 90% of time spent on a computer is real work?

More like 10% I'd say...

FW... Perhas you are some kind of a mature student.... :003: :003:

[RiG]

That is bringing tears to my eyes :009:

[Caley Fish]

I can't wait till September :party01:

[KingBeastie]

I don't want to be a friggin student as of Monday afternoon but goin by Scotty's reasons I still am :009:

[f*ballers wife]

FW... Perhas you are some kind of a mature student.... :003: :003:

oh my!!!

a student of life babe.... manure and ripe in all the right places! :004: :015:

oopsy MATURE and ripe!.... :021: :015:

[Kingsmills]

I havn't ben a student for over 20 yers but at least 6 items in the list still apply to me.

[tm4tj]

36. A fire in the kitchen is not a laugh.

:015: :015: :015:

You can just picture half a dozen stoned students laughing their heads off when the chip pan bursts into flames at four in the morning and then they throw a kettle of water over it, (don't do this at home kids), which makes matters worse and sends the aforementioned dons into raptures, as the kitchen units start burning and the curtains and blinds catch fire as well................. :015:wait till the landlord sees this :015:

True, it's not quite so funny when it belongs to yourself :019: